Interracial Dating Tips You Haven’t Heard Yet

Posted by | October 12th, 2016

In a time in America where many people are divided right now on politics and social issues, you may be wondering if it’s safe to try an interracial relationship. Has society taken a step back in terms of racism? It’s certainly a question the media has been asking, not to mention many individual users on social media.

The truth is that while we’ve seen been plenty of instances of racism in the United States as of late, there has always been a small percentage of people who disapprove of interracial relationships and marriage. There always will be too…but thankfully, these individuals are no longer the majority. Most people, including a high number of millennials, are more open-minded about interracial marriage than we’ve ever seen before.

So if you are seriously thinking about dating someone one of a different race, then take heart. You have many people who are going to be supportive, including friends and family. Along the way, consider these important black dating tips to avoid conflict.

1.Understand that most racist attitudes and comments are subtle, not overt.

Sometimes the biggest offenders are the people (including family members) who make comments in ignorance, but not maliciousness. Sometimes these people need to be educated on why stereotypes are not indicative of an entire race, and why these racist attitudes are hurtful. Sometimes racist attitudes are defined by the simple fact that the person doesn’t believe racism exists. Again, this is ignorance and not malicious behavior. You can always explain your view when you respond calmly and rationally.

2.If you get weirded out by people’s stares, just remember they may be supportive or curious, not injurious.

An interesting fact that some couples have noticed is that when a person is staring or asking questions, sometimes they are either genuinely curious (perhaps even seeing themselves in your shoes, maybe they have a crush on someone of another race) or they may be supportive and happy for you, but not know how to express themselves. Assume the best in people and don’t conclude they are harassing you.

3.Say something!

One of the best things to do if you feel awkward because of a person staring at you or talking about you is to just go up to them and break the ice. Don’t be mean…just say hello and that you noticed they were looking your way. What usually happens is that the person plays dumb or embarrassed and walks away—no conflict! Or, maybe they’re saying something that’s not about your relationship or interracial dating at all. Only a very small percentage of people will admit to your face they disapprove of the relationship.

4.Do some introspective soul searching so that you can determine how you feel about the relationship.

Unfortunately, people in interracial relationships can sometimes have a heightened awareness about what people are thinking, and this bothers them—mainly because they may have unresolved issues themselves. If this happens, don’t be afraid of the doubt. Think seriously about how you feel and why an interracial issue bothers you. Then, talk it over with your partner to see how they feel about the situation. Usually, once a person has this talk, they quickly learn that their anxiety—and the tendency to notice people staring or talking about them—is just a feeling of disconnectedness to their local community. Once you can be comfortable and honest about what you feel, you can remove all doubt and feel better about the relationship. And once you do that, you remove all the power of the racists in the world who would make you question this wonderful new friendship.

Be strong and be informed. Chances are, you will never face any serious opposition because our friends and family really do want us to be happy. We can accomplish a lot of good when we minimize conflict and speak with a voice of love.

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